Satire: Donald Trump Is The Clear Choice For 2016
Kristen Ferrera
The time for presidential elections is quickly approaching. Frontrunners for the Democratic Party include Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders while seventeen leaders, including Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz, are seeking the Republican nomination. Unfortunately, these contenders are outshined by a fearless deity: Donald Trump.
With a net worth of 4 billion, Trump ranks 133rd on Forbes’ list of the richest people in the United States. His wealth stems from real estate investments as well as from television appearances, mostly on The Apprentice. The vastness of his revenue is just one of many reasons those voting in 2016 should select him.
Because Trump can successfully run businesses, he can run this country. The financial decisions of an enterprise are obviously the same as those of the United States. When one of Trump's resorts is going bankrupt, he can terminate his partnership with the venture. Similarly when one state’s failed economy is dragging down the rest of the nation, Trump can just discard the federation. The relations between him and his fiscal contemporaries are clearly similar to the relations of America with the rest of the world; he will prosper as long as his foreign policy aligns with his policy of uncensored speech. In fact, it will be his lack of political correctness that strengthens our relationship with Russia and unites all Americans.
Trump values the endurance of traditions. Especially those established over 2,000 years ago, like the objectification of women. Trump once said, “Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art is not just superficial or something pretty to see.” His only concern with women is their physical appearance, rather than their academic or social accomplishments, and he parallels females with inanimate objects.
Trump’s legacy for this election season will probably be his valiant stance on immigration. Not only is it a great idea to build an unclimbable wall on the Mexican border but to have the Mexican government finance its construction. This will certainly keep the “criminals” out of America!
Most importantly, Trump should become the president of the United States because he has fabulous hair. His golden locks blowing in the wind will inspire world peace. His resemblance to a used q-tip will most likely end world hunger and all forms of discrimination. He will certainly make America great again.
* The views in this article are not reflected by the district or high school. This is a student whose views are printed due to freedom of press.
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